Progress,not Perfection (or why I had cookies last week and don’t feel bad about it)

First, my latest achievement in one month of clean eating, Turbofire and Shakeology:

I know I disappeared for a while folks, but, life happened last week in the form of a major conference with work so I was ripped away from my desk and working hard for the money.

It was quite a challenge, as the conference required me to be on my feet at all times, with no access to a kitchen to plan my meals, and so dead tired at the end of each day that the thought of me turning on Turbofire made my soul hurt.

So I missed three days of Turbofire, and tried to make the best of my eating choices at the hotel ( veggies, not too many white carbs, the occasional pastelito when schmoozing with others, maybe a glass of sangria or five).

My point is, this shit is going to happen. The world isn’t going to stop for you and your needs. You can either bitch and complain, or take control of the situation to the best of your ability. And there is ALWAYS going to be that asshole that says ” Aren’t you on a diet?” and to that I say ” Yes, but I’m not trying to starve either, and aren’t you drinking like 7 diet cokes?”  The truth is, everyone out there who isn’t working out, or proactively trying to make their life healthier, is always going to try to find a way to reflect their guilt/personal decision on you. I have had so many people complain about the cost of the program I’m doing, say they just don’t have time etc. Listen, that’s fine. But don’t say you want to make a change and then expect me, or anyone, to be your babysitter. You have to love yourself enough to know you aren’t cheating anyone but yourself.

One of the things I’ve noticed as I’ve been on this lifestyle change, diet, whatever you may choose to call it, is the freedom other people feel- most often than not unhealthy people who aren’t doing ANYTHING, AT ALL, to make their life better, to comment on your eating choices/decisions. Listen, I’m not perfect. I have my days where all I want is to go home, pop open a bottle of La Marca Prosecco, with a bag of Tate’s cookies, and get lost in the eyes of Blake Shelton on The Voice while my husband watches movie trailers. But for everytime I want to do that, I think,that’s what I’ve been doing MY WHOLE LIFE, and it’s why I’m at where I am now.  I allow myself a small indulgence, ( either a glass a wine, and one cookie) and workout extra hard. We are not trained animals, and an important part of this process is to stop treating food like it’s a reward. 

I am officially 50 lbs away from 200 lbs. It’s crazy cause I never thought in my life I’d be writing out this confession, which would lead me to telling you that at some point this past year I was 275. Insane, right? But I’m tired of being the fat girl who runs marathons, or having people stare at me in disbelief when I say “yes, I did do 26.2 miles in San Francisco for Nike, and I’ve completed 8 half marathons in 2 years” and then follow-up with ” Yes, an actual marathon, not a 5k.” 

I’ve always prided myself on being the fat girl that does everything a skinny girl can do. But you know what, fat girls also die younger, fat girls get diabetes, fat girls get bullied and put under a microscope. There is no pity for the fat girl, so I chose to be someone no one will pity. I rather be cheered on, than pigeon-holed into someone’s expectation of what a fat girl should do,be, feel, or even dress like.

Cause it’s all about progress,not perfection.